Hey kids… don’t give up before 1:44 or you will miss a valuable life lesson

As the sun greets me each morning I imagine it is you.
My brain needs your attention. Is my happiness due?
Each day without “us” makes my nights crave your splendour.
I want to push your fingers into my blender.

I love your face, your eyes, your arms and your legs.
I love your cheeky smile when my sperm hits your eggs.
We make love in the chair, in the bed, on the floor.
I’ll crush your skull in my car door.

Your distance makes my heart ache.
Your smile makes my masculinity break.
The more you run, the more I will chase.
When I catch you I’ll flay the skin from your face.

When I hold your body I melt inside.
My lack of emotions is just a disguise.
The uncaring side of my persona is just a front.
Can I bite off your cunt?

I spend waking time and sleeping time with you in my mind.
I need you when I am stressed; I need you when I unwind.
Please love my perversions, please love my whims.
If not… my scalpel will hack off your limbs.

I am your jester, you are my princess.
I feel unworthy of your love, I must confess.
Forgive my sins and forgive my lies.
I want to stick map pins in your eyes.

Your life will be perfect with me.
Your life will be fun and carefree.
I imagine a paradise for you… for us.
Just picture that world with a knife in your uterus.

Within nine months, changing Pampers will be a must.
I will share these responsibilities; this duty will be for us.
How the miracle happened, I hesitate to answer.
It’s because I gave your voodoo doll bowel cancer.

Our elderly days will be comfortable in a big home.
Mostly shared space but also place we can call our own.
We’ll have acres of land and a lake with a boat.
One day you’ll piss me off and I’ll slit your fucking throat.

Peace,
Pazuzu.

Her aroma entered the room before she did, her odour revealing her scantily clad body and her lust for a brave surveyor to explore her cavernous depths. I turned to face her as the breeze from the open window gently wafted her body hair and as Mother Nature fought for space in the room to deposit some freshness among the overpowering stench of lust. I slowly dressed her with my eyes but still couldn’t escape from the captivating sight before me like a bystander looking for gore in a car crash.

As if hypnotised I drifted towards her wrinkled body like a fly to carrion looking for somewhere to deposit eggs. A passionate embrace ensued as my throat fought the urge to prematurely ejaculate the lunch so lovingly prepared for me minutes earlier. We descended to the plastic sheet on the floor made slippery by her oily back-sweat and I tenderly peeled off her white panties, the whiteness made more striking as the lowered underwear revealed the slick darkness of over-ambitious flatulence and the gentle stains from a pussy unwashed for week. With the “cat out of the bag”, her legs parted with the familiar crackle of encrusted labia preparing for an intrusion. I breathed deeply but soon wished I hadn’t.

As she raised her feet into the air I descended into the murky depths of her bushy undergrowth lapping up the love juices from her wrinkled thighs like a kitten licking cottage cheese from the top of an out-of-date Rivita. I pushed her knees up to her chest until they lay on her bee-sting breasts and I examined the entrance to her tulip garden waiting for its chance to bloom. As I remembered seeing a spider crawling out of a rusted bullet hole on the side of a 1934 Ford Model 730 Deluxe Sedan back in Nevada my gullet prolapsed with desire and the need to taste the residue became overpoweringly apparent. Her balloon knot puckered like a cherry tomato dipped in chocolate.

I gasped for air as her natural lube sprayed my face in an explosion of seafood chowder, bringing back memories of childhood seaside holidays when my parents used to lovingly try and drown me in the seaweed. She breathed in hard, so hard that the only escape for the air was in my face. I was forced to breathe in the gaseous love amid a hail of chocolate desire and crustaceans from the ungroomed depths. This was real love.

I moved my face back to hers and shared her marmite as the indigenous inhabitants of her tropical rain forest danced tenderly inside my mouth. It was time to finish this jungle adventure. Avoiding the descent into the contaminated cavern, a vigorous shake of the dice produced my air-intolerant babies more proficiently than Gareth Hunt produces coffee beans. The yellowish tint caused by my infected prostate made my seed blend perfectly with her tar stained dentures, only distinguishable by the specks of blood from the lining of my damaged urethra.

We caressed in our puddle of love until her head fell off and the nuclear blast destroyed the universe and melted her face off and the Zombie Apocalypse happened and Satan returned to rape our children and the sea turned to blood and I got a splinter in my eye and pulled a calf muscle which really upset the calf. THE END…

… Or is it?…